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If I’m going to talk about the food scene in this city and the blogs that surround it, I gotta be straight up with you guys. I’m totally unaware of the food scene in this city. Case in point – I woke up with an unrelenting burrito craving this morning. No big deal, I wake up most mornings jonesing for specific dishes, and I’ve got a pretty solid list of go-to places to accommodate my greasy lustful food desires (poutine, dim sum, Portuguese chicken, pizza, etc.). But burritos are another thing. There are way too many shitty burrito places out there, and they open and close shop before any health inspector even gets the notice. Plus, most of the good ones seem to be mom-and-pop restos near Jean-Talon or Iberville…

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Dating sucks, like, 87% of the time for most people. You could be a blindingly attractive, tremendously intelligent, endlessly witty charmer with a let’s-save-Lassie heart and moves like Don Draper, but if the latest “catch” you reeled in off PlentyOfFish.com is flossing their teeth at the table in front of you or drenching your meticulously coiffed ‘do with torrential spittle as they wax on prosaically about “films” you’ve never heard of… sorry, still sucks…

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I’m not a hairy woman, either, which dashes all my Bearded Lady circus fantasies. And having thoroughly re-assessed the cost/benefit ratio of sexy face-fro vs. decidedly unsexy face-rash, I think I’d rather own a beard than date one. I might eventually turn into an old whiskered lady, but for now I’m relegated to living vicariously through the facial foliage of those lucky to grow them, clicking and sighing every time I come across a really, really good beard appreciation blog.