BedBugs Rant

My apartment has recently been infested by a species of tiny, virus-like insect type monsters that bite and leave itchy, sometimes painful welts. They are difficult to find, and are breeding in the furniture, and in the cracks in the walls.

Their bites have a strange psychological side-effect on top of the itching and the swelling.

They are virus-like in their response to treatment. That is, they build immunity and soon thrive on what once killed them.   They were virtually eradicated from the first world by the 1940’s, but they are back, infesting everywhere, and now resistant to the outlawed chemical that used to kill them, something called DDT.

I can’t afford to replace any of my furniture right now, nor can I afford an exterminator, but   because of these insects,my bed is on the curb and I’m sleeping on the couch. I should be thankful that the couch is not yet infested, else I’d be sleeping on the floor. I even had to throw out my blanket. I guess it’s a good thing I’m not married at the moment.

Of course, I’m referring to bedbugs.

Bedbugs are evil, satanic-like little monsters with a sharp hornlike thing on their heads which pierce the skin and inject a poisonous saliva into those they feed off of. At the size of almost 5 millimeters, they are not easily seen.

They are almost impossible to get rid of.

I spread around some exterminator’s dust and sprayed insecticides everywhere. Most insecticides are deadly poisonous to people, and warn against spraying sleeping areas. I read this warning only after I sprayed my bed.

I woke up with a massive headache the next day.

If I didn’t know better, I’d swear I was cursed.

This is one of those things which plagued people back in the olden days. It was nearly wiped out, but now it’s back with a vengeance.

It is a plague I’ve been cursed with.

These things are making me crazy.

These creatures are a social nightmare and a disease which affects Hotels, Homes, and Hospitals. There isn’t a hostel anywhere that hasn’t been infested at least once if it’s been open for more than a year. I know, they’re living creatures too, and all they want to do is vampyrically live off a little bit of blood from me and my pets. But their bites irritate, and cause illness. I know that some people are more affected and sensitive to bedbug bites than others. An obsession with bedbugs is one of the psychological effects, and the saliva from these insects includes an anesthetic and a substance which affects brain chemistry in a negative way.

These parasitic little creatures feed only on blood, and exist solely to be a bain upon other species of creature.

I’m not normally in favour of extinctions, but I’ll make an exception in the case of bedbugs.

These bedbugs should become extinct from my apartments, both current and future, and from all civilized nations for all time.

But listen to me. I sound like a germicidal maniac.

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