For many, the real fun starts after the St-Patrick’s Day Parade in Montreal finishes and downtown becomes one big open-air party. Drinking in the streets continues for usually a couple of hours until the cops decide to move in and overcompensate for hours of lax municipal bylaw enforcement, but by then, the party in the bars has been going for some time and keeps going until at least the early evening.

One place that always gets quite a few visitors during the afternoon on St-Patty’s is the Cock n’ Bull Pub. Its usual mix of CEGEP and University students mixed with longtime regulars accommodated the less-than-frequent drinkers out looking for green beer. If you moved the tables away, the place was large enough for all and the live music already offered was a nice touch.

Unfortunately, this legendary place was forced to close its doors this past August and despite promises to re-open in a new location soon, didn’t look like soon would be in time for St-Pat’s at first. Now, it looks like the luck of the Irish has rubbed off on this famous drinkery despite its predominantly British-themed interior décor.

New sign, same atmosphere: Le Bull re-opens its doors

Tonight (March 13th), on the eve of the St-Patty’s parade, the Cock n’ Bull reopens with a new name: Le Bull and a new location: 2170 Ste-Catherine Street West, corner Chomedey, a little over a block west of their previous location. They open officially at 6pm and The Shut Up and Dance crack open the stage at 10pm. Tomorrow, they open before the parade at 10am for Irish Coffees.

In a city where gentrification seems to be the trend of the day and venues and other fun places seem to be dropping like flies, it’s good to see that one place is not lying down for too long. It’s good that the Bull is back for St-Pat’s and besides that, it’s good that it’s St-Patty’s Parade Day tomorrow.

Happy St-Patty’s from Forget The Box!

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Does this woman scare you? Lone Times Square Tea Party protester (photo Chris Zacchia)

She’s a lone protester we passed in Times Square the other week while we were in town. She didn’t look all that intimidating. She was wearing all the trappings of the Tea Party folk you see on the news, except there was no one in similar garb hanging around.

When we asked if we could take her picture, she gladly accepted, saying that no one had paid attention to her for hours. She was a little less excited when she found out we were Canadian. Maybe the fact that we have free universal healthcare (way more than what is being offered by the Obama plan) and didn’t have to go the dictatorship route to get it isn’t exactly in keeping with her narrative.

While she might not be all that intimidating, the specter of others like her rising up in November has some US democratic congress members wary of pushing through health care reform with a procedure called reconciliation. This comes after months of backpedaling and sapping the bill of anything that may offend insurance companies looking to preserve their bottom line and throwing in stuff that really has no business being there.

Now, finally, it looks like the Democrats may actually do it, or sort of do it and pass something that changes something in the world of healthcare. Unfortunately, the worry is starting to set in.

I normally don’t comment on US domestic matters, as I am a Canadian (foreign policy’s a different story), but this issue begs saying something. So, here’s some advice to the American Democratic Party from someone living in the industrialized world like you, but not in the only country that for some ridiculous reason doesn’t see the health of its citizens as an essential public service like the fire department is:

Just pass the damn thing, do what your opponents are accusing you of doing and “ram healthcare down everyone’s throats.” Better yet, strip it of all the concessions you made to the insurance companies first and then push it through. This will only work and not turn around and bite you in the ass if you give everyone free universal healthcare.

It’s not a dictatorship, it’s politicians who are supposed to pass laws and make rules doing their jobs by passing laws and making rules. You have the majority now, use it.

Don’t worry about losing elections over this. The people that are against it aren’t the ones who vote for you and they’re not the majority. They’re a minority, just like the lady in Times Square was compared to the rest of the people around her. In many cases, they are the also the ones that could benefit from free healthcare the most, but they’re being led by an even smaller profit-driven minority

Imagine you clean the bill up and push the bill through. What will happen now when a poor person living in a “red state” and staunchly opposed to health care reform gets sick or has an accident? Now, instead of going broke to reattach their finger, that operation will be free for them.

Who do you think they’ll vote for now? Those who would have left them lose their life savings or the people who gave them a necessary operation for free? Who do you think their friends will vote for when they hear what happened?

All it takes is a little confidence to make the boldest move you could and bring your country close to where most of the rest of the world was over fifty years ago. Now, folks, you don’t really have a choice, because if you don’t do it, you’ll surely lose in November and this whole healthcare attempt will be more futile than that Tea Party lady in Times Square trying to convince a bunch of Canadian tourists that Obama is Hitler.

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They were all locked together, intertwined in ways none of them thought imaginable. Feeling coerced into this position, some wondered to themselves whether or not this was all part of some strategy, some master plan of whose making they were not sure.

They knew, in their confined position, that if enough of their brothers and sisters fell on top of them, it would surely be curtains for all. The same situation has been repeating now for decades. Not to this group specifically, but to tens of millions of their fellow blocks of various shapes.

The oncoming apocalypse, thin and rectangular in appearance

Suddenly, it appeared in the sky. Thin and rectangular in appearance, it was long enough to cover four rows of its fellow blocks in one shot. They all knew what this meant and sure enough, as if guided for a purpose, it fell right beside them. Then, it was blissful oblivion for all with only this sound to signify their demise:

Invented in Russia in 1984, Tetris is one of the most (if not the most) widely known video games in the world today. A version of it is available for every gaming console and has been since gaming consoles started.

Personally, I was introduced to Tetris via the gameboy as, apparently, many others have as well. Now, I play it on my cellphone. It’s really a great way to wait for the bus.

Over the years, developers have tried, in vain, to improve upon the game. Usually, this involves painting some sort of backdrop or attaching characters at the side of the play space that feel pain when the blocks disappear (thanks for the info, Mike). All of this is superfluous, though harmless.

Other times, they try and change the game play itself. If this involves giving other options, like most points or quickest time, it’s fine as long as the original version remains an option. There has even been quite a debate over the introduction of infinite spin into the game which is something I’ve never played with but am not completely opposed to.

If, however, it’s an alternate version completely, say one knockoff I played where there were blocks there to begin with and there was nothing you could do to get rid of them, then it’s time to give up on the knockoff and go get one of the many free (or paid) versions of the real game available.

Tetris is rare in the video game world because no matter what you do, adding to the game doesn’t make it better. No matter how many times you play it, there is always room for improvement in your Tetris skills. Skills, which according to one researcher, actually improve brain power.

If you like this game and want to know more, including the developer’s legal struggles, the possibility of endless play and the reasons why it became so widely available in the first place, there are plenty of links on the game’s Wikipedia page.

If, on the other hand, you just want to play what is still one of the best video games out there, please do so. Chances are it won’t be the first time you do.

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A few years ago, there was an explosion of young people doing crafty things.  Stitch & bitch circles were popping up all over North America and Europe and everyone seemed to be sporting crafty wares from head to toe: funky cat-ear hats and alligator mittens became all the craze.  Reviving a traditional way of making garments is a great way to keep history alive…it’s not only for your great aunt Hilda anymore!

There are a great many things of good that come out of a knitting frenzy.  You can make anything from your own dish cloths, baby shower gifts, pillow cases… you name it.  You do the labor yourself, which cuts down on slave-type condition clothes manufacturing and you have the added ingredient of love for every stitch that passes through your fingers.

Knitting can also help pass the time during long lectures, and give you something warm and snuggly while you watch a good old hockey game at the pub.  Learning how to knit when you’re a bit older also helps build new synapses in your brain, which keeps you young.

Hockey player Carrie Cahill makes hats between periods

The “knitting” movement has been a steady part of an ongoing shift in how people want to live their lives.  You can call it a bit of a getting-back-to-basics, locavore, community type of thing.

Like any high school economics class will teach you, the law of supply and demand is a large part of how our economic system is run.  With the rising fad in knitting, crochet and other do-it-yourself activities, there was also an increase in demand for yarns, knitting needles, crochet hooks knitting patterns, and so on.  So what of it?

Most of the yarns on the department store shelf are acrylic: artificial materials, possibly genetically modified, possibly dyed with harmful chemicals, possibly shipped to us from China, etc.  The best way to go, as always, is locally made, organic yarns.

Not only will you be supporting farmers in your region, you will also be walking the talk.  Many knitters today are more conscientious and aware of their impact on the earth, so if you can afford it for more of your projects, then that’s the best way to go.  This blogger has a lot of great things to say on the subject.

In the Montreal region, you can find organic yarn at Mouline and Ariadne. They’ll be your portal for great sources and information of the craft and get you in touch with the right side of your brain, and knit and purl your way to inner sanctity.

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Someone just hacked into my email and spammed all my contacts. For this I should not have to apologize, but I must.

I think those conniving, sniveling, Asperger-ridden nerds who invented computer viruses, spamming and computer worms should all be gathered into a tiny room and mass tortured. Then kill them all in the most hellish ways imaginable.

The culprit: this email did not come from Laurence

I know. Revenge of the nerds. But why do they need to be so trying? Why must they attack our systems? They are no better than garden variety terrorists.

Is it so wrong to terrorize the terrorists? Well, yes, yes it is. However, retaliation and vengeance do have some merits to them too. I can’t think of any of them right now, but I’m sure there are some.

It fact, telemarketers and fax broadcasters are in the same devilish league. They should ALL be brought down and punished severely.

Here comes a tangent, but if we all get rid of our computers, our telephones, our radios, televisions, lightbulbs, etc. they can’t spam us! In fact, technology is an evil thing that should have never come about in the first place.

The truth is, we as a species are merely and by far the most self-indulgent, insolent, selfish and nasty animals ever to evolve. The truth is that we are disgusting! We have abilities no creature should have!

We’re too intelligent for our own good. And we have hands! How many other creatures have hands!? With too much brain and the ability to make and use tools and to be handy in general, it makes us an abomination to be reckoned with.

One of our first mistakes was the invention of the wheel. Another mistake was learning to use fire, to make and quash it and the sprawl into non-temperate climates that this made possible. Without these inventions, we would have never got the technology ball rolling in the first place.

In fact, while we’re at it, all of this newfangled dogshit we call “technology” is evil, is disgusting and should be thrown out the window. We haven’t really progressed much further than the cave men, have we?

Well, there are, of course still cave-people in assorted parts of the world. The only real difference is that nowadays we usually build these caves and run pipes and wires through them and give them fancy designs. Of course, we refer to these overdensified small tracts of overbuilt land with too many people living on them them as “cities” now.

The fact is that the human race is a bane to our existence and therefore must be wiped out. But wait a second there! Are we not also a part of the human race? There isn’t an “us” or a “them” in this case.

We are all one species under a once blue, polluted sky. We’ve encrusted the earth with a new upper atmospheric layer. It is a layer of artificial satellites, debris from former artificial satellites and a ludicrous amount of assorted waves and vibrations.

There are macro-waves and micro-waves, enough to cook ourselves to death. As a species, we deserve it. No other creature on earth is anywhere near as cruel, as cunning, as conniving, or as vindictive as humanity.

Destroy the world and start again.

Start again.

Start again.

On second thought, maybe not.

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The J train stopped on an outdoor platform stretched out over Marcy Street and we exited and descended the metal staircase for the second time in as many days. The novelty of such an exit must disappear quickly for the locals, but for someone used to the organized monotony of the Montreal metro system, even this little bit of NYC Subway difference was interesting.

Marcy wasn’t bustling like it had been the day before when we arrived late afternoon, hoping to explore Williamsburg. Now it was nighttime and the frenzied pace of people coming back from a day of work in Manhattan had given way to indoor celebrations and a different kind of frenzy.

Wall artwork at Death by Audio (photo Chris Zacchia)

When we arrived at Death by Audio, there was already a healthy crowd inside and the show was in full swing. The sound quality and mixing in this basement loft venue were quite good, which makes sense when you consider that the space was started three years ago by the guitar pedal company of the same name.

According to Justin Sherry, the venue’s current booker and the evening’s soundman, Death By Audio features bands playing a variety of styles: everything from jazz to metal. This Tuesday night in particular, there was quite a bit of metal being offered.

The four-band lineup featured psychedelic metal from Elks, mystical metal from Wizardry and to change things up a bit, Afuche, who describe themselves on MySpace as minimalist progressive. All three are Brooklyn-based bands.

More wall art at Death by Audio (photo Chris Zacchia)

We had arrived late and spent our time between the show room and meeting friends in the second room through the curtains which served as a chill space. The cinder block and brick walls of both rooms featured murals by local artists, which both stood out and blended nicely with the atmosphere.

As such, we only caught one full set and it was from Pembroke Pines-based Hyimn, an incredibly tight, fast, band playing original songs fast and heavy. They are a three-piece comprised of Danny and Jaz Sainz both on guitar and vocals and Maria Chu drumming and singing. Female drummers aren’t common in rock and even rarer in metal, so Chu’s solid rhythm was a real treat.

Hiymn in concert at Death by Audio (photo Chris Zacchia)

We decided to stop off for a drink on our way back and happened upon Woods. It turns out Tuesday was karaoke night and the place was packed. Not only that, almost everyone was a good singer. To describe this place to our Montreal readership, try and imagine the Cock n’ Bull atmosphere and prices in a space that looks like Billy Kun.

The place had a real community vibe and we out-of-towners were welcome by the locals. We met quite a few people and even got up to sing. Among the clientele were some fellow bloggers and artistic types.

FTB members doin' Karaoke at Woods

In fact, we met quite a few people who were involved in new media in the Williamsburg area. We had visited Bruar Falls , another showbar where we didn’t have the time to catch a show, the day before and revisited it again the following day and met people involved in web video and blogging as well.

Most people think Manhattan when they think New York and Manhattan does have its charm. Williamsburg, however, is where I felt more at home. While there may be no sleep ‘till Brooklyn, in this part of town, there really wasn’t any reason to sleep.

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Ah, springtime!  It’s the time of year where we can rip off our plastic window coverings with great satisfaction, open the windows, air out the house and start planning our little gardens.  All that extra sunlight and air might bring some attention to four months of winter mess, which usually brings on a splurge of cleaning or ”Spring” cleaning.

But what’s the point?

If this is part of an annual ritual in which you partake, you might be making the inside of your home spring fresh, but not the rest of everyone else’’s home, i.e. the Earth.

Know what products you're using

Spring cleaning is a ritual stemming from the days before electricity, where everything was covered in soot and grime form the fireplace and outdoors. We may have advanced in our electrical know-do, but at the sake of the environment, gazing at screens more and moving around a whole lot less.  Still, we sometimes do the big spring clean, if only to welcome the changing seasons.

What do you use to clean your home?  Most of us might not take the time to research and find the most ecologially responsible products.  Many stores now carry ecological home cleaning supplies. Many might claim to be biodegradable, ecological, and other “green” claims, but here is the only way to check if it is good down to the core, in Canada:

These three little birds will set you flying straight into greener pastures.  Products that carry this logo include Bionature, Natureclean and Biovert and can be found at the two environmental co-ops in Montreal, as well as other outlets.

Of course, having new products created, even certified eco-logo ones, has a huge impact on the earth and I bet that you already have everything you would need for a top to bottom clean without having to fork out more cash.  These include wonderfully accessible things like baking soda, vinegar, lemons and if you feel like splurging, some essential oils.

So, what I’m saying is that you can use the same stuff you use for baking as a cleaning force to be reckoned with that won’t stretch your budget.  Baking soda scours.  Cleaning your stove, microwave and even bathtub with a mix of this and some hot water and lemon squirts will get the job done.

Mix up some vinegar and hot water in a spray bottle and clean hard to reach places, like that spot behind the toilet that you’ve been neglecting.  Vinegar deodorizes and gets rid of pet smells.  This is where the essential oils can come in handy.  Take some of your favorite scents, mix it with a base oil, like almond or sesame oil and spray it to give your rooms a fresh, non-toxic odor.

Some of the origins of today’s’ highly processed cleaning products stem from these easy ingredients, same as how alot of our pain medication comes from plants and trees.

So, unless you go the easy route – that is, using what you already have at home rather than buying that deceivingly “quick fix” from wally-mart, like the abominable swiffer, what’s the point of cleaning at all if the rest of the world has to suck up all of the chemicals that are in that cleaner?  Not to mention the fossil fuels and plastic (also from fossil fuels) needed to create and transport the containers, printed labels and advertising that went into it and the waste created when it’s all over.

Not only will you be going “green”, you will be returning to the old, vintage style of taking care of your home…how sweet it is!

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Looking back, I know why psychopaths like Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold decided to open fire on their school, Columbine High School. I know what it’s like to be bullied. I went through THAT hell before.

In fact, the aforementioned Columbine incident would’ve happened ten years earlier in Pointe-Claire if I’d had access to firearms. Thank the lord I didn’t.

Sure, those that bullied me are mostly now millionaires with wives and families and nice houses and sports cars and SUVs while I’m barely scraping by, living pathetically in my parent’s basement, alone and childless, struggling to get out of the mess that I’m stuck in. On second thought, maybe I should have killed those bullies when I had the chance. Oh wait, I never actually did.

It’s no fun being bullied, harassed and harangued constantly when one is in school. Teenage years were awkward enough without all that prattle.

But bullied I was, to the point where some of those bullies used to drive around my house in a minivan and if they saw me would hurl insults and rocks at me. In my mind, I overturned their van, killing them all. Now they are trying to be Facebook friends with me.

I admit, I can come across as somewhat creepy. Ugly, lonely idiots such as myself seem prone to that misjudgment, sometimes to the chagrin and delight of the society that puts us into that position should we act accordingly. No, society brushes us aside if we don’t look or act a certain way.

False accusations were, of course, spewed at me with much venomous hatred and only sometimes returned. These accusations were very often accompanied by the fists and feet of the bullies spewing them.

I was outnumbered and outclassed. I couldn’t win and so my resolve weakened. I let them get the better of me. The adults around me promised me a revenge so sweet…THE ADULTS WERE ALL DIRTY, ROTTEN LIARS!!!! After several years of searching in poverty and frustration, I’ve finally landed that entry level position in my field, earning almost (but not quite) HALF of what I deserve.

Is it any wonder that at the age of 32 I developed gout? It seems a wonder I’m not committed to some insane asylum somewhere, put on display and continually prodded by cruel tourists with “Poking sticks” purchased cheaply at the entrance.

Money was always tight, jobs were always scarce and fear was always present. But years of paying dues haven’t really gotten me anything better. Sure, I have a lot more friends now than I did then. College did that much for me.

I met some of the most important and valuable friends then (not all of them through school) and by the time I got to college, I had passed through the most awkward phases anyway. So had everyone else.

I know I must seem a bitter, old, miserable boor. I’m afraid I’m becoming just that.

One of those bullies who used to beat the crap out of me on my parents’ lawn is now a rich hot-shot California lawyer. He’d likely try to sue me for no good reason if he ever saw me again.

Another bully from that era, I heard through the grapevine, threatened to break my jaw if he ever saw me again and this was less than a year ago. If I saw either of them again, I probably wouldn’t even recognize them.

I forgave them years ago, but I will NEVER forget what they did to me. All I really learned from this is that life is never fair in my favour and restitution doesn’t exist. Karma is just shit from the Sacred Bull. Bully pulpit

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After admitting that his twelve-storey office tower planned for the Quartier de Spectacles had to be scaled back to just five floors as well as his company’s fundraising difficulties, Christian Yaccarini, the head of the Angus Development Corporation, lashed out at the city’s public consultation process and the artists trying to save Café Cleopatre from demolition. Now word comes that his company’s deal with the City of Montreal is being investigated by Montreal’s vérificateur général.

Let's make a deal: Tremblay and Yaccarini (photo La Presse)

Yaccarini’s frustration, as voiced to the Montreal Board of Trade, falls perfectly in line with what we already know about the developer’s attitude toward consultation and independent artists. Back in June 2009 he sent an email to his supporters, urging them to come to a press conference and arguing that “so-called artists” were causing a “veritable psychodrama” at the OCPM meetings in order to protect what is nothing more than “a strip club with video poker machines.”

If Yaccarini had bothered to actually listen to what was said at the meetings, he would have learned that there is much more to the Cleo, namely a vibrant arts scene whose artists don’t want to leave and in some cases have no other place to go (thanks to zoning regulations). He’d also have realized that these artists want development in the area but want to be included in it.

The Tremblay administration also didn’t listen, either to the artists or the decision by its own consultation body. Now there are two reasons for both parties to listen: he court case brought by Café Cleo fighting its expropriation and the investigation.

It makes sense that there should be an investigation. After all, if your firm wants the contract to replace the toilet paper in City Hall, for example, you can bet there’s going to be a bidding war. How could three incredibly pricey building projects on a historic street with huge symbolic significance be simply handed to a handpicked developer (and one with a criminal past at that) without anyone else being given a chance to bid?

Media coverage and a slew of shows and videos (most recently the comedic Demolition in a Box) have helped, too. Unfortunately as Velma Candyass, one of the artists behind these projects told the Montreal Mirror, a lot of the damage to the area has already been done.

Two performance venues and a dance club have moved according to Angus’ wishes, leaving the once booming, then desolate, then booming again area almost desolate once more. In what they claim is an attempt to rebuild an area that sorely needs a makeover, Yaccarini and Tremblay have created the very devastation they claim to want to eliminate.

This begs the question of why Christian Yaccarini feels he is in any position to complain.

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LA CAGE AUX FOLLES (1978)
Starring Ugo Tognazzi and Michel Serrault
Directed by Edouard Molinaro
Released by United Artists
French with English Subtitles
110 minutes

La Cage aux Folles is a great comedy by any standards, but even more so because of its important messages of acceptance and never trying to hide who you’re meant to be.

Laurent (Remy Laurent) is a young man whose parents, father Renalto (Ugo Tognazzi) and “mother” Albin (Michel Serrault), are owners of La Cage aux Folles, the hottest transvestite club in the south of France. While Laurent is only twenty, he’s wise enough to know that having a mother and a father does not a happy home always make and he’s grateful his parents gave him a stable loving childhood.

But when he gets engaged to Andrea Charrier (Luisa Maneri), the daughter of the man who runs the political party Union for Moral Order, Laurent finds himself in trouble. After he returns home to tell his parents the news, he discovers his prospective in-laws want to come for a visit. So Laurent begs his father that at least one night their extroverted family can try playing it straight. Disaster, of course, ensues.

Having seen the 1996 Hollywood remake of this film, The Birdcage, it’s hard not to compare the two. Mostly following the same script, both are great comedies, but the original is stronger for several key reasons.

Firstly and most simply, the first film was made in the 70s. It’s more believable that a family would try to hide their sexuality back then rather than in the late 90s (then again, America has always been way behind Europe in issues related to sexuality).

Also, Robin Williams and Nathan Lane are excellent performers, but both actors play the characters simply for laughs. Just watch the scenes where the characters are practicing their newest routine for proof. Tognazzi and Serrault meanwhile have just as many funny scenes together, but this script spends time focusing on how Renalto and Albin are just as married as any straight couple could ever be.

This grounds the men in a reality that doesn’t make them simply a flamboyant stereotype. Speaking of reality, it’s refreshing to see that the actors who play Laurent and Andrea actually look like they’re eighteen and twenty instead of in Hollywood where thirty year olds are cast as teenagers. Seriously Hollywood what’s up with that?

If handled by a different actor, the character of Albin could have definitely simply come across as a screeching queen. Serrault gives Albin just the right mixture of prima donna and loving mother figure to make him lovable. Lane comes close to achieving the same type of performance, but Serrault is just too fabulous to beat. The scene where Albin dresses up in drag and convinces an uptight conservative politician that he’s a woman is one of the best sequences ever in a comedy.

Ultimately, the secret comes out and they are cruelly rejected by the Charrier family. But Renalto and Albin, (the “freaks”) ultimately prove themselves the better people when they help the Charrier family out of the club after the press gets wind of where Mr.Charrier is spending his evening. It’s completely rewarding and hilarious to see a man who is so vehemently opposed to homosexuality sneak out of the club in drag.

Cage aux Folles never shoves gay rights down your throat but rather playfully comments on how ridiculous it is that people hate each other because of who we love.

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