Cum One, Cum All at the Cinema L’Amour

When we last checked in with our fearless females on a mission for an intriguing story, they were in the couples section of Cinema L’Amour watching Jerry give it to Elaine from behind. To take the edge off the experience, they slurped gin from Jessica’s flask. The restlessness in the theater was becoming apparent. Some members of the exclusively male audience were pacing around, changing seats every ten minutes or so.

Then, another couple enters our story and we bear witness to the seamier side of the cinema.

I gotta admit just sitting in a porn theater got me a little bit aroused. Partially because it was my first time in such an establishment, partially because it felt rebellious and dirty, and partially because of the anticipation of getting to watch hot people have hot sex.

This arousal quickly dissipated when I could hear belt buckles opening all over the place and it became clear I was not the target audience for the heterosexual male fantasies being played out on screen- no foreplay or emotional connection and extreme close-up penetration shots. The lead actress’ ludicrously fake noises, nasal baby voice and constant string of inane, annoying and sometimes downright disturbing commentary throughout the sex caused me to wonder Men want you to say that during sex?

And now back to the couple beside us. For obvious reasons it’s very dark in the cinema, so it was hard to ascertain much about them. I assume they were in their late 40s or early 50s and it certainly wasn’t their first visit to this particular place.

As the man reached over to fondle the woman’s exposed breast, the men from the audience literally swarm around them. We thought we got it bad from the crowd when we first walked in. Now our stare downs felt like a walk in the park.

At first, when one of the audience members started massaging the woman’s other tit, I giggled in disbelief. It was like sitting right next to a car wreck- you don’t want to stare in shock for too long but you’re almost too intrigued to turn away. My view of the scene was hampered by that fact that I was groin level with a particularly rotund old man who was trying to score a piece of the action and I certainly didn’t want my nightmares haunted by a clear view of his chubby little weenie.

The invisible barrier of the couple’s section was broken when a few of the men hopped right over the seats to get closer to the couple. At this point about eight of them had formed a fairly tight circle around the couple, with the stragglers a few feet behind.

It became quite difficult to see what was going on but the slurp slurping and gagging made it clear that the circle jerk had whizzed past second and was gliding into sexual third base- the blow job. What perplexed us more were the seemingly bona fide lady noises coming from the middle of the circle. I guess we’ll never know whether it was a finger or something else causing her to squeak out sighs of satisfaction.

Eventually half the circle dissipated, leaving us a clear view for the woman on her knees on the theater floor, mouth-level with the last two men from the circle. As soon as she finished, she sat back down in her seat, kissed the man for a few seconds, and they went off on their merry little way.

While we went into Cinema L’Amour expecting to see erotic acts take place on screen, we had no idea that the action would also occur so candidly in the audience. So ladies, if your idea of a sexy good time is giving head to a slew of random older dudes, head on down to the Cinema L’Amour. It’s free for couples on Mondays and Tuesdays, and they screen two different films every week.

Finally, I’ll close with one other aspect of the film that surprised me- the lack of female orgasms. Right when the women would be at the point of panting “I’m gonna cum, don’t stop baby” over and over, it would cut to a different shot. I only remember witnessing one body shaking, full-on orgasm. When I complained to a friend about this, she replied with “Guys don’t want to see that. They only want to see the money shot.”

This got me to thinking- does it not arouse a man to see a woman having an orgasm? He’d really rather see her face getting covered in hot, white cum?

If I were watching porn for my own arousal, I would want to see men and women getting off all over the place. Granted I don’t want to judge all porn by what I saw here.   So if I get to call “watching porn” research, will it take all the fun out of it? Only time will tell…

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