Clean 31: Reactivated Period Blood Sun Revolution

We all know of the dirty 30 expression, what about clean 31? This show marks a full decade of burlesque.

I have been a Stripteaser since my idea was to strip down to a bald cap and all white and be the sexiest Mr Clean the world has ever seen. My outfit was complete with the only pristine white panties I have that say “fuck it” on the ass and a pair of pink fishnets from the floor.

Since it was my birthday I decided to hit a bowl before the show. Of course I coughed, and of course I peed a little. The show must go on.

Depeche Mode “Clean” came on in the red lit bar. I lost my virginity to a different Depeche Mode song, kind of silly. I love this bar. Nietzsches is as filthy as me, the cobwebs and memories.

It was really crowded for such a cold December night. I came out as a goofy housewife and vacuumed the bar. Then the reveal, wig off, crowd roars, and Mr Clean took the stage with a dirty rubber fist (which I licked). Killed it.

Afterwards upstairs we were chilling and changing. I looked down and to my whorer and dismay my formerly pristine white panties were now blood stained! What? I couldn’t have gotten my period! I just had it last week!

Wait. Last week I wore these pink fishnets, last week when I realized after the show that my lady in red was raging. I threw the tights to the floor where I found them a week later, in my haste I did not notice the stain.

When I coughed my pee reactivated the shark week and I definitely earned my filthiest person at camp title. Mr Clean dancing around with last week’s period stained underwear is pretty much my life in a nutshell.

I really am gross and don’t know how I spend all of these decades existing in my own filth and bad taste. It’s the best. New year new me, another revolution around the sun, thirty fucking one.

The party is for me and everyone can see my stains. I wear them with pride. I always say I am going to get my shit together, clean my room and purge the clutter from my disorganized soul. Stop wearing ditty clothes off the floor, or at least checking the crotch.

Top notch filth queen. Red crusty funk goddess. Crotch like pennies. I am the hottest mess and my own biggest distraction. Beauty in the rubble of former brilliance. A smile with cracks always lacks. Dry lips and elbows, some dreams forgotten, some achieved, and a whole lot more experience needed. Living life one day at a time, just trying to get high and feel good vibes.

My new years resolution? My birthday wish? I don’t know. Revolution. Be a better person, give even less fucks about what others think. Shock more with my art, really say something meaningful and be smart.

Be brilliant. Ge naked. Eat Shit. Inspire others to break out of the box and onto the streets. Realize you can accomplish everything. Food not bombs, homes not jails, trapped in the middle of an apocalypse, the rise of assholism and the fall of being quiet.

This year I will raise my fist higher and I will make more soup for my friends when they are sick. I want to be the most vitamin enriched veggies bubbling in a pot of hot broth and spices. Reborn.

My neighborhood is changing just like my aging body. It is creaky and sagging. Nobodys/Filigrees is gone. It was just the shell of a former artspace but I cried a little when it was just a pile of rubble. Colorful spaces and history smashed into a pile.

I became ME in that building, it was the safest place to be a majestic fuck up, a misfit that can only fit in at a place where nobody is president. Just like Dreamland, it has got to be an idea.

No. I can’t let gentrification bring me down on my birthday. The future terrifies me.

This is my actual birthday, the day I was cut out of my mothers womb, the celebration of my first breath and a butt slap heard round the world. Am I what I wanted to be when I was five? Do I have all the things I wanted? I never got a Barbie car, but I have happiness.

My bliss is the safety of warmth on a cold winter night. I am blessed in gifts beyond presents. The presence of real compassion and passion.

I got a weed cake, a glorious hot pink sparkle unicorn, handmade rainbow earrings, a giant rainbow dildo, and some eco friendly glitter!  My loves really know me. They are so kind, I feel selfish in comparison. I am a Capricorn, I work hard and care with all of me.

Sure I am a mess, but who isn’t? Humans are as gross as they are beautiful. Embrace the yuck in your own life, fight hate with supreme love, celebrate your imperfections and create a world where we all laugh at the face of insecurity.

2018 is our year! Make a wish when you blow out the candles and kiss that pretty girl at the stroke of midnight.

Facebook Comments

Join the discussion

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *