Indiana Governor Mike Pence Comes Out of as Gay, Announces He Will Now Boycott the State

Mike Pence

In what is being described as an about-face unprecedented in the United States, Indiana Governor Mike Pence, the man who signed the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, allowing businesses to persecute against members of the LGBT community, announced this morning that he is, in fact, a gay man.

“I have a confession to make,” the embattled governor said in an early morning press conference, “I’m gay. I have always been. I prefer the company of men. And this bill, which I signed into law, is an attack not only on people who have done nothing wrong, but it’s an attack on me, too.”

Pence did not stop there. He went on to insist that the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, which he signed, is grounds to boycott the entire State of Indiana.

“It’s horrible,” he said, “I can’t go anywhere without the fear of being discriminated against, just because of something I can’t change. That’s why I’m joining the boycott against this state. I won’t be buying anything in Indiana or attending any events here until this thing is off the books.”

While this certainly raises questions about Pence’s ability to govern a state he refuses to shop in, the bigger question, which some reporters did ask, is why he signed the law in the first place. Pence was unapologetic.

“I may be gay, but I’m also a politician,” he said, “a politician in Indiana. I want the basic dignities and rights that should be afforded to any human being, sure, but I also want to be re-elected.”

When reached for comment, Pence’s wife Karen was blunt if dismissive: “It took you guys this long to figure it out, wow.”

This has now caused some people to wonder if he will, in fact, be accepted in the boycott movement, inspired by the bill he signed. When reached for comment, LGBT activist and science fiction legend George Takei, one of the main people advocating for a boycott of the State of Indiana, had this to say:

“Who are you? How did you get this number? Mike Pence is gay? Yeah, right, nice April Fools joke. It’s 4:30 in the morning here in California. Good night!”

“Yes, he’s right,” Pence said, confirming Takei’s suspicions, “it is an April Fool’s joke. I’m not gay or boycotting Indiana. I’m just an asshole.”

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