Love, Sex ‘N Shit With Goofy Welldone

Goofy Welldone
Dear Goofy,

I have this guy friend who I met a few years ago. We don’t hang out a lot, but go out together maybe once or twice a month. He’s been in a relationship with the same woman for about 10 years and as far as I can tell has never cheated on her. So basically, he’s a good guy.

BUT

Often when we’re hanging out he makes a lot of comments about how good I look, calls me his girl, compliments my lips, my butt…you get the point. He basically verbally hits on me A LOT. And the other weird part of this is, although I’ve known this guys for a few years, I’ve never met his girlfriend. That’s weird, right?

So last time we hung out we had a bit (ok a lot) too much to drink and we kissed. It didn’t go any further than that and we both agreed that he should go home right away. Since then I’ve been answering his texts less and, while we’ve run into each other at parties from time to time, we haven’t hung out alone at all.

Dear Sister,
You are a victim of a friendzone relationship gone wrong. His reaction was predictable. He visibly is attracted to you and about to go 50 shades of fucking C-R-A-Z-Y for you. There are two reasons a guy friend with a girlfriend wants to hang out twice a month with a fine lady like you: either he’s trying to do the mambo jambo with you or he likes to cultivate the possibility of doing the mambo jambo with you. Why do you think he never introduced you to his girlfriend ?  Every sane man knows that it’s never a good idea to introduce his girlfriend to a hot lady friend. Face it,  you’re the one that got away and should stay away or at least not hang out alone with him or drink alone with him or do any activity alone with him to avoid further relapse.

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