EA Sports NHL 11 It’s in the game! Really. What’s not in this game?
Hello Canada and hockey fans in the United States, and Newfoundland. It’s that time of year again. And no, I’m not talking about setting your clocks back an hour. That’s next month. The NHL season is back, which means another three or so hockey games are out are various consoles. But of course, like always, EA Sports steps up to deliver with its multiple award-winning NHL series. How does NHL 11 fare when compared to its former incarnations of NHL 10 and NHL 09? Well, that’s why I’m here.
I really miss the NHL. Really, I do. I miss it when goalies were allowed to play the puck without restrictions. Where fights were fun to watch. Where hits to the head were as legal as a shot on goal. Where suspensions weren’t handed out like candy on Halloween. Where the NHL wasn’t an all-you-can-eat buffet of goals, people named Crosby and/or Ovechkin and pussy-whipped rules that made any sort of intensity out of the question. Pretty much, what I’m saying is that Gary Bettman is a whore. He’s a corporate, Canadian-hating, bitch who wants to Americanize the game of hockey by turning it into an “non-offensive”, yet highly offensive-minded sport only Mac users could like. Shame.
Honestly, pre-lockout NHL was awesome. There wasn’t this overdose of stupid rules, divisional matches and a lack of Canadian Team coverage on the NHL network. The sport meant something. Now, I’m not so sure.
Regardless, NHL 11 from EA Sports builds on what worked in NHL 09 and 10, and ups the ante. Broken sticks. Check. Disallowed Goals. Check. Better engine. Check. More goalie animations. Check. CHL teams. Check. It’s a great package that is probably any hockey fan’s wet dream. Well, post lockout hockey fan’s dream.
Let’s get down to the basics. What’s new? Well, the big new “feature” in the game is the CHL. Ever since NHL 2004 way back on the PS2 and Gamecube, EA has included teams from across seas such as the Swedish elite league. Other leagues have followed such as the AHL. Now, finally, the CHL has entered the fray and it’s awesome to see the OHL, WHL and QMJHL represented in addition to the other leagues in the game.
Honestly, the NHL series is beginning to look like FIFA. Every fucking league is included. And it’s neat to see. Although I really don’t think the people buying the game really care about German leagues. I know I sure as hell don’t.
With this being said, one of the neat features about the CHL teams being included is the arenas. I’ve never been more impressed with advertising in the game… ever. Subway, Mastercard and Home Hardware actually have banners on the boards and on the ice. Honestly, it adds a whole new dimension of realism to the game. I love it.
Of course, all the international teams are represented also from Team Canada all the way to Team Japan. Love it. And who doesn’t love reliving Crosby’s OT winning goal against Team USA back in the Olympics? Can you imagine if the US won? That would suck ass. When they won the world juniors, the first thing I did was grabbed whatever alcohol I could find and poured it down my throat. Anything to wash out the taste of failure.
Speaking of the taste of failure… I have major issues with ANYONE who, come Playoff time, cheers against a Canadian team. I don’t care if you hate Toronto, if they make the playoffs (as if they will), you fucking cheer for them. How anyone could have cheered for Philly over Montreal is beyond me and those people should be arrested. I’m looking at a few people on my Facebook for this one. Next time you cheer against a Canadian team, I’m throwing you across the border and into the land of the damned, arms-bearing, Gary Bettman-fucking world of the United States of Stupidity.
Damn Americunts.
Where was I, oh yes, the game (you just lost). NHL 11 has a great new engine. Goalies have way more moves and act way more realistic. They hold onto the puck far easier and don’t let in goals, like they’re going out of style. Honestly, these goalies are tough to score on. So unless you’re playing against Carey Price, get ready to be stone-walled to hell.
Hits are better too. Broken sticks add way more realism. Passes take a bit longer to pull off. And the game is no where near as arcade-like as it used to be. Ever since NHL 08, this game has been getting better and better. And like a cock, it gets bigger and bigger. This game just doesn’t stop. But for our sake, let’s hope it doesn’t get sucked…
Um. Become sucked. Um… sucks. I was trying to play on the whole cocks analogy, but I guess my vocabulary is limited sometimes. Damn medication. I need that anti-depressant NOW! Either that or a visit from whoever the hell is legal these days. Oh, the joys of living in Ontario. It sure beats Vegas…
O_O…
Las Vegas. I don’t even feel like I have the right to make such a joke. It’s too inside for me. I’m more of an outside guy who stays inside. Kind of like a stay-at-home defensemen. I wonder if stay-at-home d-men would make good stay-at-home-dads? Why am I asking? Because I’m so honey nuts, I’m co-co for co-co puffs. And yes, I CAN get enough of that Sugar Crisp. Thanks. But onto more NHL 11 stuff…
First-person fighting remains in the game. WTF? What nonsense. I hate this feature. For a game that’s trying to be realistic, this has got to go. And whatever happened to goalies fighting? That hasn’t been in the game for years. But it was neat. I still say they should have multiple fights at once. That would be awesome. It’ll be like Star Craft meets NHL. Chara could be a Thor and Martin St.Louis could be a Zergling and Ovechkin could be a Dark Templar and…
This rant looks like it’s going into overtime. Better wrap this up as quick as possible without giving up an odd-man rush. Why’s it called an odd-man rush anyway? Are you letting odd-looking people rush at you? Like someone who looks like some sort of half-cat or tiger or cheetah bitch from Chatroulette?
Anyway. One of the best features of NHL 11 is just the game in general and the flow the game has. It’s fast enough, runs smooth, animations are flawless, the modes are all there, you can play a series on the spot, you can do tournaments, GM mode, shootouts, and it’s all done super well. Playing online is simple as fuck and best of all, the game is just great.
The soundtrack is flawless too. Every on-ice song is something you’ll actually hear at the rink, ranging from The Final Countdown to metal soundtracks and electronic to organ sounds… really, the music in this game is authentic to NHL games and I love it. Such a better soundtrack than NHL 10. You know why? NO FUCKING NICKELBACK. Thank God. They (EA) listened to me and got rid of the band that caused my ear-drums to bleed more than half the people who fought and died in World War II, Vietnam, The Battle of Middle Earth, the battle of Endor, Battle of Yavin, Helms Deep, Piranha 3D and Machete.
Great. Just great. But if you already own NHL 10… do you want to wait until next year’s game? If you have the money, buy it. Or do like I did and trade in some games to get it. But now there’s this new rule at EB Games and Gamestop where you need to provide two pieces of ID in addition to your health card to trade games in. What the fuck? What are they trying to prove?
I had this tall, chubby bald dude with glasses and a white sweater ask me for ID. The guy probably has better chances of winning the lottery than getting laid. At least by someone who doesn’t look like they crawled out of a meat grinder or some sort of SPAM factory. I don’t even think he was supposed to see my ID. What a grade-A jackass, n00b.
Anyway, NHL 11 delivers. The game keeps getting better and better, and to be honest, I don’t know how much more they can do at this point. Seems like they’ve added everything in the game of hockey and zipped it down into a small little package. Hah. Small package. This is no way near being a small package. This is an ace of a game, and something you shouldn’t fold.
Buy it. It’s a good game. And you want it to have your babies.
9.5/10
My only real complaint is not having enough options on the international side of things, a lack of a change to the GM mode, and some issues regarding season mode leading up to the playoffs and beyond. Aside from these things, get this game. Get it. Buy it. Play it.
May the force be with you.
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