Ontario Liquor Laws Suck! Take A Lesson From The French, Be Like Quebec!
If there is one thing I hate about living in Ontario, it would be the liquor laws. If there is one thing I am passionate about beyond comparison, it would be fixing these laws. Ever since turning 19, I have suffered through the drawback of having to purchase my beer and alcohol from either The Beer Store or the LCBO. In Quebec, you can buy your liquor practically ANYWHERE and for a fraction of the price, at almost any time of day. Our stores close at 9PM or, if you’re lucky enough to live near a college or university, 10PM. Not to mention 5PM on a Sunday. Enough is enough.
For a store that calls itself “The Beer Store” I would expect to see brands I’ve never heard of. Hell, I expect to see every kind of beer from all over the world with amazing prices, but there’s hardly any of that. Sure, there’s some really random brands, but I’ve seen a lot of these same labels at corner stores in Quebec for far less dollars. It’s madness. Madness? No, my friends, this is Ontario.
Ontario’s so-called leader, Dalton McGuinty, has gone on record saying neither he or the Liberal party have any plans to change the liquor laws. Honestly, Dalton. Really? How about I kick you in your non-existent balls and then shove a bottle of beer (that I paid way too much money for) up your ass? How would you like that? How about instead of being a little bitch, you buy your electricity from Quebec for far cheaper than charging us so much for “home grown” sources. How is this supposed to help families in Ontario? Maybe instead of giving your precious HST a blowjob every night because you love taxes so fucking much, you do something actually useful?
For more info on Dalton and The Liberal Party’s Tax Fetish, see this article.
Then again, Dalton is a stupid Liberal with no sense of what is right or wrong. Who the hell voted for this man? Are you all idiots? I swear, anyone who votes Liberal next Ontario election is a straight-up idiot. Why waste your vote on Liberal when they don’t have a chance on getting in power in Ontario. Rather, do something that actually makes sense and vote Conservative. Like really. Smarten the hell up.
Anyway, you know what really sucks? When my buddy gets off work at ten and we want to go drink. We can’t go buy our own beer, because the stores are closed. And we don’t want to go to a bar. So we have to drive all the way to Hull to buy our beer in Quebec. I don’t want Quebec to get more of my money. They get enough of it at the casino. Not only that, but it costs us more gas money. Give me a break. And it’s even worse for people who live in Toronto because Quebec isn’t even an option. It’s beyond brutal.
If gas stations could sell beer and whatnot, guaranteed they’d get more people into their stores. And regardless of whether or not their regular products like potato chips and candy bars are overpriced, the liquor would still be better than the LCBO and Beer Store, which is what we need. Plus, they’re open how long exactly? Oh yeah, almost all of them are 24/7. They’ll just have to stop selling liquor at 11PM, but that’s not so bad.
It’s a joke really. Buying liquor in Ontario is a fucking joke, and it’s not even funny at all. It gets zero laughs. It’s just offensive, and not in a good way. It’s just an annoying joke that we’ve heard for many years now and hasn’t been changed. It boggles my mind how people can stand for this nonsense. You can make the argument that more access to alcohol will “promote drinking and driving” (as my socialist friend told me) but it hasn’t in Quebec, and it really won’t, considering nothing is stopping you from drinking and driving already.
The only way people will never be intoxicated, is if there was a ban on alcohol. But that kind of logic is just like saying “the only way people will never get high is if we prevent weed from being sold”. Give me a break. It’s easier to get high at midnight in this province than it is to get a little buzzed. Why? Because fucking dealers don’t close shop at 9PM like little pussies and they’re in better locations than the Beer Store and LCBO!
At least in Quebec you can walk somewhere to buy liquor and it wouldn’t be too far away. In Ontario, it’s a fairly long way to the LCBO, and it’s annoying as fuck. Let me buy my liquor where I want. Let me buy it when I want. It’s like… I can’t stop face-palming.
To quote an old Stella Artois slogan, “I’d rather die of thirst than drink from the cup of mediocrity.” And that’s what you’re providing, Ontario and Dalton McNugget, a cup of mediocrity. Give me my liquor in a platinum cup filled with liquor purchased for a better price from a location that doesn’t close at 9PM. This should be an election issue, and a major one.
Do yourselves a favour, people of Ontario, do NOT vote Liberal. Do not re-elect a complete and utter idiot who should be hanged for high treason. Fight back against the restraints placed on us by the Ontario government. Demand change, not for me, but for drinkers everywhere. When we want a drink, we should want it at a price that doesn’t leave our wallets naked, and our women still clothed. When we drink, we should drink only from the cup we choose, and not one provided to us by the province. We will only stand for perfection, variety, and both a private and public sector. We will not stand for this bullshit any longer, and we shall cry out into the night, that this is our domain, and we will not be denied any longer! To drink is to live.
Bibo ergo sum… I drink, therefore I am.
I have a dream.
May the force be with us all.
-
Leila
-
scrutty McCrouch
-
Frostie
-
Frostie
