The Best Pizza… period.
Before I begin, let me just say that here in Ottawa, the pizza is so bad it’s not even remotely funny. It seems all we have here are chains such as Pizza Pizza and Pizza Hut and to be honest, I was so sick to death of them, I ended up trying anything to get away from the same old taste.
I even went as far as to eat pizza from the Superstore near my house. Yes, that’s right — pizza made in a grocery store, that’s how much I hated mainstream pizza places. Sure, there is always Gabriel’s and I will admit first and foremost that their pizza, although good, just can never compare to what I am about to review.
Since a number of Forget The Box fans live in the city of Montreal in the province of Quebec (I used to for ten years of my life), my review is even more relevant. Woodland Pizza is located at 5443 Wellington in Verdun.
The service, upon entering, is nice and classy. Okay, it’s not quite the most extravagant place in the world — no mile-high waterfalls or classical music, but for a pizza place, it’s top of the line. Waitresses will be right with you and even on a busy day, expect to get your order in less than half an hour, which is a good thing.
Some places take over an hour to deliver your food, but Woodland provides excellent service at record-breaking speeds. I mean, if you were to take a Nascar driver, a speeding bullet and a slap shot from Boston Bruins Defenseman Zdeno Chara, your order will still get to you faster than the car (assuming it crashes), the bullet (assuming the shooter’s aim was just a bit off and hit Zdeno Chara in the leg, causing him to miss the rest of the season and never fire that slap shot) — okay, so it’s fast, just remember that.
Now, as far as the menu goes… I couldn’t find a menu online sadly. However, they have a large assortment of pizzas and drinks. Hell, you can even get cherry coke with actual cherries and a number of alcoholic beverages I didn’t want to try ever since two Saturdays ago on Halloween where I ended up getting so drunk I licked some girl’s shoes. Anyway, the menu is great. There are desserts too, which I have been told are also very tasty.
Now, I stuck to the basics. Pepperoni and Cheese, because quite simply, if you can master the basics, you can master anything. That and I don’t really do all-dressed or anything like that. Let me just say that, as someone who likes pizza, when you MUST use a knife and fork to eat your pizza, they get it right. And do they ever. For Christ’s sake, you can count the number of toppings in most fast-food pizza places, but they really burry them into your pizza here, and the end result is like… like…
…Like, okay, if you’re male and reading this and having problems pleasing your wife and she says things like “you never please me” or “There, that’s the spot! Again! No, not there!” or my favourite: “Do you even know what a G-spot is?” then take your significant other to Woodland Pizza and if they don’t like it, then they will never find happiness. In fact, if they don’t like it, chances are nothing will ever satisfy them unless they sit on a cactus for a month or two — end of story.
So, the pizza is good, no?
The pizza is fantastic. Sure, you’ll pay $20 for a medium (this includes tax and tip) but is it ever worth it. I strongly suggest the next time you’re in the Verdun area to go to this restaurant and enjoy yourself, because the service is unrivalled as far as I am concerned.
For the record, yes, I have eaten there before, but when I did I was too young to understand just what made a good pizza or appreciate all the little things about it. To some, it may just be pizza, but to others, Woodland Pizza is like God’s gift to those who like to chow down.
I’ll probably be going back in two weeks and it’s a two hour drive! What does this mean? Go try it. And that’s not a suggestion, that’s an order.
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