Wings of Liberty Part Two The Multiplayer
What’s better than sex with your girlfriend on top of a billion dollars? Nothing. And certainly not Star Craft 2′s multiplayer. However, with that being said, if you’re looking for a fun-filled time, minus the cost of birth control, then maybe you’ll find at least five things to like with the new and improved Battle.net 2.0.
If you happened to read my review of the single-player campaign for Wings of Liberty, then brace yourself for the breakdown of the multiplayer. Also, keep in mind that the multiplayer game differs so much from the single-player experience, that it’s almost like you’re playing two different games. Not to say this isn’t the case with a lot of games, but with Star Craft, you’re pretty much looking at advanced chess. Yes, indeed. I am comparing Star Craft to chess. Why? Because in the core of the game, every single move has to be strategic and everything you do has consequences. One wrong move and you could give away a position on the map/board and that can result in one hell of a serious headache.
If you’re unfamiliar with Star Craft games, then luckily for you because the game allows you to partake in a series of 50 unranked matches right from the start of the game. These are designed to help newer players catch-up (somewhat) before being thrown to the wolves. After that, all bets are off and the real fun begins because your placement and multiplayer skill front are determined. Battle.net will then match you against players on your level, giving you an easier chance to compete and hopefully not be completely blown out of the water by those crazy Koreans. 
It is noted that some of the units used in the single-player game have been taken out of the online component. Units such as the Medic are gone and you’ll be relying on other units to fill the void. Not that this is a bad thing, but I’d rather Blizzard gave us more variety and more units that had similar properties – nothing wrong with being able to do the same thing a different way. 
One of the key focuses on Star Craft 2 is just how insane the multiplayer is. Already there are tournaments being announced where the total prize money for first place is equal to $87,000 USD. I’m not joking. That is some serious cash for you to fuck your girlfriend on. But you gotta be able to do more than just harvest minerals and balance your tech tree if you want to compete against the best of the best. And when I say ‘best of the best’, I mean motherfuckers like Idra. Pretty much, this guy:
I know, right? It’s like he’s Harry Potter or something. >.< I’d hate to be caught in the midst of an Idra rage, but sadly for him to do that, he needs more AP. Once again, you have no idea what it is I’m rambling about, do you? Of course not. That’s why I’m reviewing and you’re reading.
The modes in multiplayer vary from straight-up 1v1, 2v2, 3v3, 4v4 to free-for-all modes. Don’t forget about custom maps either. What you have is a large number of ways to play the game and have fun doing so; although you may not have fun playing as the Zerg. Honestly, what was up with the Zerg in this game? They seem so much weaker. In my opinion, the Terrans and Protoss have the far more superior units and advancements. The Zerg require a skilled player to master and this could spell doom for future generators of players who are one with the swarm. Protoss just seem to have by far the better/cheaper (not price) units and the Terrans are a good balance.
Personally, the only time I really played Zerg was back on the original Star Craft with those good old Zergling rushes two minutes into the game. Loved those. Then people caught on. Le sigh. Sometimes things are just not worth it.
But is Star Craft 2 worth it? The multiplayer is the key factor in picking up this game or not. The single-player campaign, although nice, leaves a lot to be desired in terms of a story revolving around the three races – fuck expansions. I want Heart of the Swarm now!! But the multiplayer really saves this game and in a big way. Star Craft 2 without multiplayer would be like Jason without his love of Steven Harper (jokes). Or Canada without hockey. Or worse Canada without beer. But, at the absolute worse yet: Star Wars without Yoda as he was. Honestly, can you imagine THIS thing?! 
Star Craft 2 may drop the balls in some places, but at least its balls have dropped. This is a man’s game and not something every Connor, Chris and Cassie can pick up and whiz through like a chronic masturbator and his porno collection. Honestly, you’ll need skill to play online and to hang with the skilled players. There are a lot. As far as a score goes. The game gets the following: 8.5/10. Was it worth the wait? Fuck no. Is it a good game? Yes. Great game? Kind of. Does it do the original game justice? Depends who you ask. But as far as I’m concerned, when this trilogy is all said and done, only then will we know if Blizzard upped the ante enough to lead to a prolonged future for Star Craft 2. Not only as an E-sport, but as a tribute and successor to its previous incarnation.
Until Heart of the Swarm then, my friends, it’s time to put away Star Craft and leap into another galaxy somewhere far off in space, through the blackhole, past the void, out of the frying pan and into the proverbial fire that burns like a south-side grill in a neighbourhood populated by francophones and your mother in-law. Crackers. Delicious. 
Until next week, I’m Mygh-Kal Gah-Wil-Yum. Thanks for reading. And as always, the force will be with you. Even though Star Wars has no place in this week’s column…
