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The Allure Of The Crazy Girl

When Bad Girlfriends Happen To Good People
By on June 11, 2011 – 9:38 am8 Comments

We’ve all seen it happen – nice guy meets crazy girl, nice guy falls hard for crazy girl despite (or frequently, because of) her craziness, crazy girl uses this to her advantage to the point of ripping his heart out of his chest and stomping on it before force-feeding it to him for dinner.

Let’s get one thing straight before proceeding: there seems to be a generally accepted distinction made between the crazy-hot chick and the just plain ol’ crazy chick. Living in the vain culture that we do, the attractive crazies occupy a privileged position that lets them get away with it much more than a less attractive person. This behavioural trend is most evident in Hollywood movies, where snagging that coveted crazy girl role paves the way for box-office gold and Oscar glory.

In recent years, two of my close male friends have fallen under the spell of a manipulative vixen. A while back, I went for a ride with the first dude after not seeing him for quite some time. When he wasn’t chain smoking and complaining about how annoying his girlfriend was, she was calling him on his cell to bitch at him about something. I heard she even got violent on him a few times, shoving him and leaving scratch marks on his skin.

He was a nice guy, and he didn’t deserve to be treated like that! No one deserves to be treated like this!! But trying to tell someone in that situation is like banging your head against a brick wall… they stick up for her in the end, seeing things from her skewed perspective. A common trait of the hot-crazy girl is an eagerness to manipulate, consciously or otherwise. This often involves alienation of her boyfriend from his friends and family, even turning him against them.

I saw another buddy finally break free from a tangled web earlier this year. This girl had many of the hallmarks of the hot-crazy: attention seeking, little regard for morality, “impossible to be at ease around in social situations.” A true loose cannon with a drinking problem, intelligent but unable to get it together. They did the “break-up-and-get-back-together” dance a few times, inevitably coming back to each other for another fix.

There are many theories as to why some guys just can’t get enough of crazy women. Apparently, and rather unsurprisingly, the sex is crazy hot. I wouldn’t know, as I’ve never had sex with a crazy girl. I imagine it’s wild, legendary and uninhibited at first, but over time she starts using it as a manipulation tool, to get you to do things or to make you feel bad for not doing things.

Another theory is that men love playing “hero”, swooping in to pick her up and attempt to fix all her problems. It also puts his own mediocre life into perspective, making it seem like an accomplishment in comparison.

And you’ve gotta admit, there’s a bit of a thrill that comes along with being around someone that exudes unpredictability. “I think whenever you’re taken by someone, be it male or female, who has the potential to lose themselves or to transform in front of you, there’s something very attractive to that,” says actress Parker Posey.

But a relationship with an unbalanced person inevitably ends up unbalanced. They just aren’t built to last. Lawrence, 35, puts it best at Details.com:

“It was like the Stockholm syndrome—you become sympathetic toward your captor instead of realizing Oh my God—I’m a hostage!”

So both my friends had their aha moments, and are back with the parents, sorting their lives out. Hopefully they won’t be soured towards women for too long. We’re not all manipulative sea harpies that thrive on their tears and get stronger the weaker we make them feel. There are plenty of sassy ladies like me out there who are confident, fun, great in bed and only slightly crazy…

Photo of an extremely haggard looking Lindsay Lohan, the poster child for the crazy-hot chick, credited to ismellsmut.com.

Jessica is the sex writer. She writes about sex, love, relationships and all things that make our hearts beat and...
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  • ShooFly

    Well first of all..

    I believe you meant ** “He was” not “He’s was”

    Lawrence was spelt with a “w” in the Details article
    …

    and you should probably have put ” impossible to be at ease around in social situations” in quotations and made reference to the source,Ian Daly … considering that you plagiarized the phrase directly from his article.

    “Crazy” /unpredictable does not necessarily equal manipulative and immoral … and way to throw in multiple self aggrandizing statements at the end there…. not necessary.

    “Crazy” girls are often just more interesting, plain and simple. And males are visually oriented so yes, they like pretty girls. So the combination is obviously going to be appealing. I don’t know if that has so much to do with our “vain culture” as a predilection towards the aesthetically pleasing is not only human nature, but observable in nature and throughout the biological world.

    And the hot crazy girl is not the only type of girl that acts crazy in relationships. In my experience, your average “crazy” girl is often more open than the seemingly normal girl. In fact, your typical “crazy” girl is generally more predictable in her unpredictability. I know a lot guys’ girlfriends, or just friends of mine, who appear perfectly “normal” outwardly and are bat shit crazy behind closed doors from the the subtle-yet-disturbing to the in your face and shocking. Boring girls can be violent too.

    I am sure you are distinguishing between the unpredictable and the psychotic… Regardless, you article came off as an amateur imitation of the Original altered only by the hint of bitterness in your tone…

    All in all, I think your “sassy” self might be a little green with envy.

  • Shoofly

    Unflippinbelievable. Why fix the article with my corrections yet still not post my comment. Not sure what deems my post too scandalous to see the light of day. That is so uncool FTB.

  • Shoofly
  • Monica

    i don’t care what anyone says, Lindsday Lohan is my #1

  • Shawn Katz

    Shoofly:

    We thank you for drawing our attention to these issues in the article. We are constantly striving for excellence in everything we post, both in terms of language and editing, as well as in content. As I’m sure you can imagine, however, none of us is imperfectible, and these things happen. They have been rectified accordingly.

    We regret as well that your comment took so long to go up, and we will try harder in the future. As a not-for-profit organization, however, we do not have a team of comment moderators working around the clock, and also prefer that our writers be given ample time to respond in certain instances. We’re happy to have your understanding in this matter, and hope you will continue to find our content stimulating and insightful.

    Regards,

    Shawn Katz
    Deputy Editor, Arts and Culture
    Forget The Box

  • Jessica Klein

    Shoo Fly – first of all, thanks for your editing eye. As much as we try to be 100% perfect in our grammar and spelling, we are but mere humans that occasionally put apostrophies in the wrong places.

    Honestly, we’re all entitled to our opinions and while I don’t agree with all your criticisms of my piece, I appreciate that the Internet is a forum for sharing opinions.

    Bitterness was not my intent with this piece at all – I thought it was an interesting take on observations I’ve made via my friends, and read about online.

    Furthermore, I would be more careful throwing around terms like “plagiarized”. I like to engage in online research before any of my posts, as I feel it puts more validity and legitimacy into my work. I thought I sufficiently referenced the Details article in my piece. If you feel I didn’t, I hope it made you feel better about yourself to point it out to me, and I’ll watch out for that in the future.

    I definitely agree that the hot-crazy girl is not the only type of girl that acts crazy in relationships. A lot of the crazy girls start off acting “normal”, especially around others. This is another one of the hallmarks of an abusive relationship as well, a topic I would like to explore in a future column.

    And finally, I am in no way, shape or form envious of the crazy girl. I don’t have to rely on trickery or manipulation to keep people close to me. I try to be a positive, loving, caring, and supportive person in all my close relationships.

  • Hanan

    Well this article is a hot and crazy article. and its written by a girl.
    Bingo!
    and sorry but noone noone will ever replace marylin monroe or better naomie campbell in my heart

  • Booze Crotch

    The only one that sounds bitter to me is Shoofly…