It was the perfect storm until the shit hit the fan: 2011 Canadian Election Results

By all accounts, this looked like it was going to be an election that would really change the political map in Canada, and it was. It looked like some political careers would be over, and a slew of new MPs would come to Ottawa. That happened too. It looked like an unstoppable wave would sweep through Quebec, then head west and not stop until we had a new Prime Minister with a new vision for a better Canada, and that’s exactly what happened – at least, the first part happened, then something went wrong, really wrong…

You Have Nothing to Fear But What I Tell You to Fear: New Candidate Enters the Election Race!

In case you haven’t heard or seen the signs up, there’s an election coming up in Canada May 2nd. A bunch of my colleagues here on the site will be covering it and offering their opinions over the next few weeks. Makes sense that I do the same, right? That’s what I thought. Until I saw this ad via Facebook. (loose translation: the Liberals and the Bloc are leaving the door open to illegal immigrants, fortunately we have Stephen Harper and the Conservatives) I guess you could say that it really inspired me. So simple. So basic. So to the point…

Crime at the Anti-Police Brutality March…and it’s not what you think

I’d like to report a crime. It happened during the Anti-Police Brutality March in Montreal last Tuesday. I’m not talking about breaking windows or anything so violent. Instead I’m talking about a crime that is a dire insult to the people of this city. The crime is littering. In particular, horseshit. Horseshit left on the ground in the brand-spanking new Quartier des Spectacles…

Let’s all do some Charlie Sheen and talk about five news stories you may have overlooked

Okay, I give up. I’ll do it. I’ll drink the same Kool-Aid that the rest of the media seems to have swallowed and write about Charlie Sheen. I’ll pretend for a minute that the actor’s self-sparked saga is more important than anything else going on right now and drink. Actually, forget the over-used…

BREAKING NEWS: Stephen Harper admits he is a cyborg sent here to kill us all!

In what some are describing as the most brazen move of his political career, Prime Minister Stephen Harper admitted in a Parliament Hill news conference earlier this evening that he is, in fact, a cyborg from another planet sent to earth many years ago to get on the airwaves and slowly bore the populace to death.

“I felt that I had to come clean,” Harper told the stunned Ottawa press corps, “I mean, after all, transparency in government is…

Pump up the bandwidth, pirate the Internet

When an invading army or the leaders of a coup want to assert their control over a country, the first stop is usually the local TV station. Take control of the airwaves and the rest will follow.

Scamming on social media for no profit. Give me a Nigerian prince any day!

If you go on any type of social media, and in particular Facebook, on a semi-regular, regular or frighteningly frequent basis, this has probably happened to you:

You see that one of your friends, probably someone you haven’t heard from electronically for a while, has posted something on your wall. You go to check it out and take a step back. “Wait a minute, why is my anti-corporate activist friend posting a link to skin cream?” Then it dawns on you, their profile has been hacked by some spammer.

What’s your sign? Does it matter? Actually, it kinda does

When I was younger, I got a daily horoscope book for my birthday. I decided to do a little experiment with it. I put the book aside for a few months and lived my life like normal. Then, one rainy Sunday, I thought back on the most interesting, fun and exciting day I had experienced during that time and looked the date up in the book. It said I would have a quiet day at home. That coloured my view of astrology ever since.

Last week, stories broke about how a new astrological sign Ophiuchus had been re-added to the chart, moving millions of people’s signs up and causing mass panic among loyal devotees of the zodiac and people with now incorrect tattoos.

Can you get sued for a Tweet? Courtney Love and the future of the internet

We all knew it would come to this some day. We probably didn’t know it would involve Courtney Love, but that seems somewhat appropriate. You see, Love is being sued. Nothing new there, right? Well, what is new is that could have serious ramifications well beyond a celebrity spat. Courtney love is the first person being sued for a tweet she made on twitter. You see, back in 2009, fashion designer Dawn Simorangkir wanted Love to pay her a few thousand dollars for clothes and the singer wasn’t impressed to say the least. She went on a tirade via Twitter and other social media platforms calling Simorangkir a “drug pushing prostitute” among other things.

2010: The year of confusion – From Rob Ford to Burlesque, the year that made no sense

I must admit, I’m a bit confused. I’m not quite sure what I’m supposed to write about here. It’s a year-in-review piece, so at least the time frame is solid, but the subject matter, hmm, that’s another story. You see, I don’t really have a clear beat. I started off 2010 as a theatre writer, but now that’s done by others and occasionally me, at least when it comes to burlesque shows (heh heh, but seriously, check out my reviews of Blood Ballet and Glam Gam). I do write about news and politics, even in this space, but I’m not the only one, so this can’t be a year in the news piece. I could write about the year it was for FTB. (and in fact I will, but that’s coming up New Year’s Eve, not here.) So I guess I’m just going to have to talk about the year in random things that caught my attention.

London calling to Montreal: get some ideas behind your riots, please

Mass arrests, tons of damage, Prince Charles under attack, police under fire for doing way too much or not doing enough. Yes, London was the site of some pretty intense riots last week, which is funny considering they don’t even have a hockey team…must be football. No, wait, it’s actually over student tuition hikes, something that means something. Pardon my confusion, but I’m from Montreal and that just seems strange.

I am Optimus Prime: Does making your Facebook profile pic a cartoon really help?

I am Optimus Prime. Not the Michael Bay billion-dollar craptastic version, the real 80s cartoon version, or at least that’s me on Facebook right now. Why, you ask? Well, because I damn well want to. What gave me the idea? Well, read on…It’s actually part of a viral campaign to raise awareness about child abuse that a number of people on Facebook have taken to heart or at least their profile pics over the past few days. Here’s the concept (and what people joining in have been posting as their status update: “Change your Facebook profile picture to a cartoon character from your childhood and invite your friends to do the same. Until Monday, Dec 6th of 2010, there should be no human faces on Facebook, but an invasion of memories! This is for a campaign against violence on children.”

Just when we thought we were out…the UN votes to allow baseless executions of LGBT people

I’ve always kinda liked the UN. Yeah, they’re a tool of the west, but every now and then they do decide to take a stand and not back really silly wars of imperialism like Iraq or let something that actually tells the truth about what Israel’s doing in Gaza such as the Goldstone Report get published or embarrass Harper by kicking Canada off the Security Council. Now, though, they’ve gone and royally screwed the pooch.

Surprisingly, the west is not the cause at all this time, but that’s not to say that they…

Shit my mayor says Rob Ford’s victory in Toronto is sad but not surprising

Yup, that’s right, the Tea Party has come to power in Toronto. With the election of Limbaugh-esque (and not just for his appearance) loudmouth Rob Ford as the city’s mayor, Toronto has turned a page, actually a few pages, back in its evolution. If you thought his call to lynch the homeless was shocking, his thoughts on the rights of cyclists aren’t much better. Neither are his actual policies. He has very loudly proclaimed plans to curb the power of unions, privatize sanitation services and support tax breaks for the Bay Street clique while breaking the backs of those who work for them.

Why the hell are we following Justin Bieber on Twitter?

Until earlier this week, I was without the internet at home. That meant, in addition to agonizing nights of having to figure out just what to do with myself and the rabbit ears attached to my TV (yes, I know how that sounds), I had to find my junkie-esque connection to the world in places like parks, internet cafes and friends’ houses…in public. One afternoon, I was in a café logged into the FTB Twitter account tweeting one of my posts, one of my occasional tasks on the site. I took a look at some of the tweets coming in from the people we were following.

Whatevergate

It’s got scandal! It’s got shady characters holding shady meetings in the shadows! It’s got intrigue! It’s got the potential to bring down the wealthy and powerful! It’s the Bastarache Commission, it’s the biggest thing happening in Quebec politics right now and I really couldn’t care less about it. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for entertaining uses of taxpayers’ money like grown men and women in suits analyzing scribbles and trying to determine which hockey game the justice minister was at when he wrote them. I’m also strongly in favour of anything that might get Jean Charest busted or at least taken down a notch, but this, sadly, isn’t it. This tale of influence peddling in the nomination of judges is nothing more than a distraction. A scandal manufactured to deflect attention from another scandal that has way more meat: collusion and corruption in the construction industry. It’s also an excuse for the Liberal bullies to gang up on Marc Bellemare and have fun destroying his reputation for daring to step out of line.