A friend messaged me looking for a witch. Is there a scavenger hunt I didn’t know about? Is there a non-drug induced apparition at your door that needs dispelling? No; he needed a spell “for good love. Or to attract good intentions. Or to be open to love.”
I liked that he was open to the phrasing; as if he knew that somewhere in how we ask the question, we craft the limitations of our own answers (I’m working on that one myself these days). And, while I do have a few witches on speed dial, I’ve both kissed enough frogs and whispered enough potent wishes by moonlight (and consulted a few wonderful therapists) to qualify for a shot at this one.
Is it any surprise that the answer won’t be found in a simple room smudge?
Fundamentally, we get what we ask for. Yes; it’s wonderful and terrible, and those of you who are already getting queasy by this part of the ride are encouraged to hang tight and keep your breaths long and steady to avoid dizziness. The theory is that whether we’re aware of it or not, energy flows to where the attention goes (i.e. look at where you’re driving, not what you’re looking to avoid, and countless reworked bestsellers). So, when we’re asking for “love,” while it’s implied that we’ll get our guaranteed +1, beyond that, what is it we’re really aiming ourselves toward?
What does love mean to you?
It’s important that you ask yourself that question and answer it honestly. Your answer will evolve as you do. Chances are, this isn’t one of those things you’ll find in a flash in its entirety; begin the process of exploring what it means, and you’ll not only find what you’re looking for, but also what you have to offer. Love, after all, is a verb. What does it look like when you do it?
If you believe love is hard won, through struggle, trial and strife, you can and will find it that way. If you’re looking for roses and carriages, you will find them. If you feel like love is a word that tries to pin down a moving target carried on the breath of your kindred, you’d be surprised what you might find.
To bring new things into our lives, it’s imperative to take out the trash. Emotional clutter is to breakdowns and blockages what eBay is to a net savvy hoarder. Make space to let the light in (Dad: put down the credit card). We create our own plotlines out of our expectations, favorite dreams and the debris we’ve collected along the way, rolling on through like melty marshmallows across a sandbox. What storylines have imprinted on you? What destructive little scenes are you still sticking to and filtering your future through?
A lot of our collective love stories are built on rescue, salvation, even injury or vampirism. But at the end of the day, are you in the business of saving puppies and mending werewolves? Are you a half drowned cat masquerading as a cursed princess? Is that really how you want this to go? That’s not love. Not mine, anyway. You, of course, are free to turn this into whatever scene you’d like. But…
What if you envision your wildest heart’s desire. Even the parts that jaded people and prime time TV have led you to believe are impossible and extraordinary expectations. Picture it. Walk with it swirling about you like sunshine. Don’t let the clouds creep in on it; these are your beautiful dreams, worry about clouds when there are actual clouds. Feel it in your heart until you smile from it, and forget it’s not already here (because it kinda is).
At the very least, this practice will expand your horizons and your capacity for will abundance. I believe it can do even more; I believe Good Love digs it when the sunshine swirls about you like that, and done exquisitely, it can work like an electric magnet finally getting its DC diddled.
But, Are You Worth It?
But, if you don’t know that so inherently that you feel it, it’ll either sound bogus or simply fall on deaf ears. We all deserve love. And while yours won’t ever look like mine (and isn’t that lovely?), yours deserves to be supportive, understanding, kind and expansive. You have a right to it, like you do to air, despite the stories you’ve told yourself as to why you might not.
A well adjusted, capable gal I know used to have literal dreams about being left at the alter due to a wonky thumb. I used to feel easier to love from a distance as I’m quite wonky up close. There are as many excuses and barriers like these as there are people to have them. Let them go. Know that you deserve Good Love, and you’ll be amazed how it rains down on you; from more smiles from strangers, to the extra care in every encounter. It’s a snowball effect of great stuff, and you can be there to pick up what’s going down.
I know; I haven’t had you chant, or dance, or anything. Still, I hate to disappoint and it’s not too late. Magik is at its most fantasmagorical when it’s personal. You must fundamentally jump start your own mojo machine and ideally make your own ritual. All anyone else can ever give you is an invitation to accept a new starting point; like walking out of a gypsy’s tent with fresh perspective and magik beans.
Here are the beans:
Write down all the reasons you believe you don’t have love. Burn them. Wordy folks and the self-loathing are warned to be especially careful; I suggest a bar-b-que.
Take time to look yourself in the eye (use a mirror, or your face will stick like that), take down all your guards and fall in love. You’re pretty good looking, you know. And that sweet thing you did that time when no one noticed? You know about it. Love yourself for it. For everything. Fostering fondness of self is actually the most important part of everything I’ve learned to date in life. I’m still not a full pro, so don’t get discouraged.
Buy / make yourself a li’l something — a charm, if you will — that makes you think of Good Love. My money says: “Good Love will know where to find it.”
@McMoxy in search of money magik
Images: kitchenwitchuk.blogspot.com, demotivational.us