Oh Patrick Swayze, won’t you take me to Pleasure Town?

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This week Steph and Jess get together and analyze what turns them on (and doesn’t) during sex scenes in the movies.

Johnny doesn't put Baby in a corner; he DOES her all night long!

After our infamous Cinema L’amour adventure, sex columnist Jess Klein and I were eager to work together again. This time though  we decided to keep our exploits indoors, so as not to deal with the awkward situation of observing public sex in a porn theatre (see Cinema L’amour). We met this week at Jess’s apartment and over a bottle of wine discussed what we love, and don’t, about sex scenes in movies.

We all know movies take place in a fantasy world. Yet Jess and I both agreed that the most important quality, for a sex scene to really turn us on, was for it to feel authentic.  (Actresses of the world; you don’t want to do a nude scene? Fine. But when you wear your bra in a sex scene it just makes us roll our eyes. No girl does that.)

By authentic  I mean  that the actors have to  have  some kind of genuine chemistry; also the sex has  feel natural to the story, not forced simply to showcase the T and A of the latest “it” girl.  The Reader is the story of a teenager in post WW2 Germany who has a torrid affair with an older woman, and the sex depicted onscreen is not only hot but crucial to the development of the story. In Vicky Christina Barcelona there actually isn’t that much sex, but all three of the main characters have such amazing chemistry that in my mind the movie feels like a lazy Sunday where you do nothing but make love.

After Jess and I spent the evening fast forwarding through our DVD collections to all the naughty bits, we decided to each come up with our own lists of the best, worst, and just plain weirdest sex scenes in the movies.  I invite you to peruse  my list today  and  don’t forget to read The Morning After  tomorrow for Jess’s list!

1. MOST SWOON WORTHY: We watched allot of awesome naughty moments this week, but Jess and I both agreed that the most swoon worthy sex scene in the movies is when Baby and Johnny get it on for the first time in Dirty Dancing. All that touching, dancing, and Swayze without a shirt? Yes please.

2. FUNNIEST:  The dirt room threesome that turns into a full out orgy in Zoolander. Completely silly and ridiculous, and yet just like everything else in that movie still makes me laugh all these years later.

3. BEST FOREPLAY: Soon before they start knocking boots Nola and Chris in Match Point have a very intense make out/dry humping  session in the rain which is unbelievably sexy.

4. BEST INNUENDO: Before you could show full frontal in the movies you had to be clever about how you talked about sex. At the end of the film North by Northwest Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint are on a train, presumably off to start a long happy life together. As they embrace, the film ends with the train going into the tunnel. Brilliant.

5. WEIRDEST: This title goes to two films. French movie The Dreamers has beautiful people getting naked a lot, but what can I say a whole movie exploring a incestuous relationship isn’t something that turns me on. Second prize goes to Crash not the Oscar winning film from the early 2000s but rather the 1996 flick by David Cronenberg about people who get off on getting into car wreck and having sex immediately afterwards. Sex with an open wound? No thanks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPwbWUeCvQo&feature=related

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