Polyamory, Attraction and Satisfaction in a Flawed World

Polyamory_pride_in_San_Francisco_2004

There are some things in life that we have absolutely no say in. Attraction is one of these things. That instant electricity, your future life with this person flashes before your eyes, a wave of unconscious lust takes over, and suddenly every love song reminds you of them.

Love is madness! You want to push them against a wall and kiss their face, run your fingers through their hair, hold them tight to your quivering body, and tell them that any insecurity is moot because they are perfect in your eyes.

You are that 13-year-old girl who has her room plastered in Jonathan Taylor Thomas posters and he is standing right in front of you. However, nothing comes out, fear and inertia sets in, you are paralyzed, and become a completely useless human puddle of dumb.

No matter how hard you want to confess your true feelings, sometimes it just doesn’t happen. You then get friend-zoned. You are privileged to stories about their current fling. You think to yourself “Why would he ever chose that obnoxious girl with the stupid bangs and IQ of a potato over me?” Well, maybe because she wasn’t a pussy like you and asked.

Imagine being in their wedding, the feeling of utter despair when you walk down someone else’s aisle toward a man that once occupied your dreams. Sounds like the plot of a terrible romantic comedy. Often a great friendship is more important and long lasting than a passionate romance anyway.

It’s the New Year, social media really sticks it to those of us who are single this holiday season. Did you get your magical midnight kiss? I sure didn’t. Now more then ever I notice all of the engagement and pregnancy announcements, happy people doing happy things. Barf.

I once dated a boy for several years and had to end it, crushing him. I am not relationship material, as soon as I am “in a relationship” (in the Facebook official sense) I feel trapped. He wanted 2.5 children, a house in the suburbs, white picket fence, mini van with the little stick figure family on the back, and a dog.

He married the next girl that he dated. I do not ever need to get married, however it would be kind of nice to know that someone would want to marry lil’ ol’ me.

I will never ever understand why same sex marriage has ever been debated (much like when bi-racial marriage was still illegal). Love is love god damnit! Who people love and fuck is their own business, as long as it is between consenting adults.

Nobody has the right to censor your soul and tell you that your biological attraction to another human is wrong. These folks are just so caught up in their own righteous morality that they miss the entire point. Every love is as unique as the person who is doing the loving, no situation is ever the same, no rules apply to emotion, passion is blind, and there is no cookie cutter for a perfect life.

Can you imagine being with the same person for the rest of your life? That idea is so weighted. In sickness and health, to know that another person wants you to be in their life, to nurture and grow with them, and start a family.

I couldn’t imagine having children, that concept blows my mind! I am 100% in love with my cats, my free spirited lifestyle, and total insanity.

I am a feminist who doesn’t need anyone to complete me. Great job or great person, incredible in bed or an incredible artist, fantastic cook or fantastic at cuddling: if there was a checklist of what I need in a mate I am sure that it would be impossible to check them all.

Monogamy? I am an ethical slut that often ponders the idea of being polyamorous (someone in multiple romantic relationships), not saying I want to 20 sister wives (that’s polygamy), but many people grab my interest.

What would my mother think? We are programmed to want only one person. Promiscuity heightens your chances of contracting STDs and heartbreak.

Yet, the human soul has a great capacity for love. A multiple party or open relationship where everyone is safe, honest, consensual, open, and on the same page is beautiful. It is again another facet of possibility that should not be ruled out because societal standards say its taboo. Always be true to yourself and do what makes you happy!

Join the discussion

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *