Why this Valentine’s Day I’m splitting on Hookers and Beer

Oh Christ, it’s Valentine’s Day. That day of the year where supposed couples embrace love and affection by dining, making out and vulgarly fucking on the floor like something out of a nature show – something with so much passion and intensity, it makes Passion of the Christ look like a PBS Kids Show. I’m talking sex so rough…

Let’s be honest about the Muppets

Now I have yet to see the new Muppet Movie, but I know lipstick on a pig when I see it, (sorry Miss Piggy!) and the Muppets are pushing a left-wing agenda.
The Muppet Show (1976-1981) …

Five CRAZY Things You Didn’t Know About OC Transpo

If you happen live in or have ever been in Ottawa, then you probably know the bus system utterly sucks. Hallmarked by the infamous OC Transpo Bus strike of 2008, the system has a long list of shortcomings including rude drivers, insane routes and hardly ever being on time. Not to mention the drivers swear at passengers and even abandon passengers! What you probably didn’t know is that there’s a reason for all this. If you’ve ever been annoyed at OC Transpo, then this article is for you. Here are five things you probably didn’t know about OC Transpo that are absolutely 100% true…

You can haz Meme! Random Epic Images Galore… again!

Here we are! Yet another collection of epic images taken from the internet. Enjoy with caution; some of these can cause intense laughter and premature ejaculations. May the force be with you all. Happy viewing…

Apple Set to Battle Q-Ray with release of new iRay iOnized Bracelet

World famous company Apple has decided to go after another competitor only weeks after announcing they will start manufacturing televisions. Yesterday, Steve Jobs, Apple CEO, announced that starting in mid 2012, the company will release their own version of the famous Q-Ray Ionized Bracelet as often seen on TV infomercials. “This is a proud day for Apple. And a large step in the future of bracelets,” Steve Jobs said with a smile on his face at the press conference Saturday. On his wrist was an early prototype for what is set to be a revolution in bracelets…

Five Different Relationships We Have With Video Games

The One Night Stand

This particular video game is good for two things: its graphics and gameplay. While it won’t take very long to beat, it has enough content to make it worth its rental price tag. It’s good in bed and it’s really sexy. Pretty much, she’s a game like Vanquish or Bayonetta. Or Resident Evil 5. A game you can play through in a weekend, but have a lot of fun with…

Google brain, robo-wives and droopy boobs: yay for crayons!

Sasha Manoli has done it again. She’s created a hilarious concept and brought it to life with Friday night’s Crayon Party! show. I last saw Sasha at Le Belmont where another one of her creative gems, the Liar Liar Show, was being held. This time around, the crowd was snugly huddled around small round tables in the cozy interior of Theatre St-Catherine; a more intimate space where you can get to know your table-neighbours by stealing glances over your shoulder at their magnificent crayon drawings and realizing…

Keeping cool on a (penniless) budget

It’s hot. I love it. But I could do without my sauna of an apartment. Maybe this is what my rent increase is paying for, a built-in summer sauna. I can just hear my delusive landlord pitching the benefits to me now—”maintain a constant dewy complexion, sweat away those extra pounds and enjoy a higher power bill due to electric fans!” Ah yes, electric fans… it’s a love hate relationship, isn’t it?…

Zoofest: Who let the animals out?

Zoofest is back for the third year running, carrying in its large clownish arms an assorted mash of comedy, music, satire and performance. It’s the crazier, slightly cooler little cousin of the Just for Laughs festival and looks to be even bigger and busier than before. The idea for Zoofest was originally conceived by Gilbert Rozon, founder of Just for Laughs, who traveled the world’s festival circuit for 25 years, examining different approaches to making festivals. Amalgamating everything eclectic he had learned, Rozon created Zoofest. The festival is a diverse bi-lingual event…

Rest In Peace, FTW. You are Now Far Too Mainstream and For The Loss

Dearest people of the internet, it has come to my attention that one of our most beloved expressions has unfortunately entered the realm of misuse. It has become too mainstream for its own good, and now, sadly, saying it has become vanilla. Just like expressions such as epic win, pwned and n00b before it, it is with great sadness and great regret that I must pronounce FTW dead via Facebook…

A Twist in my Propriety

Foxy worries that as she gets older, it’s not just her looks that she’s losing. I used to think it was really funny that old people just let their farts rip while they walk. Gross, but funny. But as I get older I realize that it’s rude. Funny, but rude. And it dawned on me, many of these people were responsible for moulding the manners of other people children and these children were taught to suppress their farts or at least to say “excuse me”. So does old age give you the right to give up all pretense of socially acceptable behaviour?

Mel and the Sea of Cat Ladies

As a dog person, I couldn’t help but wonder why I was face to face with a cat which, according to the ribbons pinned on its ten foot long, state-of-the-art, clear plastic living environment, was an “International Winner” and “Supreme Grand Alter”. The prestige of its titles and glamour of its home came off as rather comical, since the award-winning competitor was attempting to escape right in front of me. It stared at me hopelessly, begging to be freed, while incessantly swiping and clawing at its plastic enclosure. I could feel its pain, and I wanted to help it in its conquest — but I couldn’t (due to the padlocks on the zipper)…

Foxy learns not to f**k with the forces of nature

For all the sayings out there about being sorry, none of them say that sorry makes things better, yet, as children, we are taught to believe it does: You go apologize and make BillyBoBob feel better. And I suppose because that’s what we believe, in theory it does. But as adults, “sorry” doesn’t always cut the mustard…

Every kid needs a dust bunny to call their own

am a slob. I have come to terms with the fact that I will always be a slob, in the way that an alcoholic who doesn’t drink any more will always be an alcoholic. My name is Foxy, and I am a slob.

I have been known to go weeks, not days, without washing dishes. I have had cats for most of my adult life who, I believe, think they are supermodels, and throw up their food soon after eating it. I have left that on the floor. I have gone months without vacuuming or washing the floors. I have left more hair in the sink and tub than most people have on their heads. I have subscribed to the “if it’s yellow leave it mellow, if it’s brown flush it down” theory…

“Horrible Criminal” Activity

I was accused of a number of unmentionable crimes for which I must be punished without trial. I am in fact guilty before the trial and until proven innocent at the trial, after which I will still have these accusations lingering over my head probably for the rest of my life.

Whether I’m guilty or not is therefore irrelevant; I’m guilty as charged without trial or representation. I’m denied any chance for “legal” defense. I have to say, in my own defense…

Pics Pics and more Pics

What’s the perfect recipe for a lazy Sunday? …Funny images!

ForgetTheBox is going to be bringing you weekly pic updates from around the interwebs but we need your help. This section needs a name! So submit your suggestions in the comments section below

Happy Browsing!