If Talk Is Cheap, What Does That Make Sex?

I finally met a man who recognizes how fabulous I am! He notices when I get my hair coloured, and helps me shop for new clothes that accent my curves in all the right places. He even knows the magic words to bypass the bouncer to get into all the best parties. Just one teeny weenie problem- he’s into weenies.

The old adage of “all the best men are either taken or gay” seems truer than ever. Yes, it’s slim pickings out there for good heterosexual men, especially as we get older. Then when you do meet them, you gotta wonder why someone hasn’t scooped them up already…

The ratio of successful men to successful women is tipping in our favor, perhaps for the first time ever. According to a recent article at Slate.com, earnings for 25- to 34-year old men have fallen by 20 percent in the past 40 years. And women are outpacing men in numbers at post secondary institutions, and for the first time in history, also the workforce.

So you’d think that all these smart, successful women like myself out there would be scooped up by these flailing men into the security of a commitment. But it appears that the scarcity of ideal male partners has tipped the sexual scales in their favor… assuming that most of them are looking for sex with very few strings attached.

When there are lots of men around, women get treated better. We pay for fewer drinks, we get asked to dance more often, and we rarely have to ask for massages. In short, when we get to choose our penis, we do so carefully. It has been documented that a surplus of women causes marriage rates to rise and fewer children to be born out of wedlock.

Conversely, when there are fewer men around, women have to take what they can get. And this can include accepting terms on a sexual relationship that they might not be as willing to accept if there were more men to pick from.

Sexual economics can also have an effect on existing relationships. As a friend recently told me, “If there were more decent heterosexual men around competing for my attention, maybe it would cause my boyfriend to step up his game a little bit. But on the other hand, having so many gay men around means he also doesn’t have to validate me as much.”

But don’t worry singles, all is not lost. The Internet is bringing more people together than ever, especially in the area of sexual relationships. Right now as you are reading this, hundreds of people across the world are fucking for the first time after having met online. Hundreds are professing their love and dozens are marrying. Or if all else fails, ladies can consider moving to Sudan, Venezuela, Columbia or Bolivia, which according to a recent study, are the countries with the largest average penis size.


Photo 1 acclaimclipart.com

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3 comments

  • Well I finally feel completely inadequate. Thank you. I have no money, I live with my mom and my penis is small.

  • Where is the source date for the map?

  • Would you like to know how penis size has evolved? I will break it down like this. The size of a man’s penis is determined by the size of a woman’s ass. Think about it this way. Chinese men don’t have to have large penis’s because the womans asses are much smaller than say Brazilian woman. I rest my case!

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