We’ve all seen it happen – nice guy meets crazy girl, nice guy falls hard for crazy girl despite (or frequently, because of) her craziness, crazy girl uses this to her advantage to the point of ripping his heart out of his chest and stomping on it before force-feeding it to him for dinner.
Let’s get one thing straight before proceeding: there seems to be a generally accepted distinction made between the crazy-hot chick and the just plain ol’ crazy chick. Living in the vain culture that we do, the attractive crazies occupy a privileged position that lets them get away with it much more than a less attractive person. This behavioural trend is most evident in Hollywood movies, where snagging that coveted crazy girl role paves the way for box-office gold and Oscar glory.
In recent years, two of my close male friends have fallen under the spell of a manipulative vixen. A while back, I went for a ride with the first dude after not seeing him for quite some time. When he wasn’t chain smoking and complaining about how annoying his girlfriend was, she was calling him on his cell to bitch at him about something. I heard she even got violent on him a few times, shoving him and leaving scratch marks on his skin.
He was a nice guy, and he didn’t deserve to be treated like that! No one deserves to be treated like this!! But trying to tell someone in that situation is like banging your head against a brick wallâ€¦ they stick up for her in the end, seeing things from her skewed perspective. A common trait of the hot-crazy girl is an eagerness to manipulate, consciously or otherwise. This often involves alienation of her boyfriend from his friends and family, even turning him against them.
I saw another buddy finally break free from a tangled web earlier this year. This girl had many of the hallmarks of the hot-crazy: attention seeking, little regard for morality, “impossible to be at ease around in social situations.” A true loose cannon with a drinking problem, intelligent but unable to get it together. They did the “break-up-and-get-back-together” dance a few times, inevitably coming back to each other for another fix.
There are many theories as to why some guys just can’t get enough of crazy women. Apparently, and rather unsurprisingly, the sex is crazy hot. I wouldn’t know, as I’ve never had sex with a crazy girl. I imagine it’s wild, legendary and uninhibited at first, but over time she starts using it as a manipulation tool, to get you to do things or to make you feel bad for not doing things.
Another theory is that men love playing “hero”, swooping in to pick her up and attempt to fix all her problems. It also puts his own mediocre life into perspective, making it seem like an accomplishment in comparison.
And you’ve gotta admit, there’s a bit of a thrill that comes along with being around someone that exudes unpredictability. “I think whenever you’re taken by someone, be it male or female, who has the potential to lose themselves or to transform in front of you, there’s something very attractive to that,” says actress Parker Posey.
But a relationship with an unbalanced person inevitably ends up unbalanced. They just aren’t built to last. Lawrence, 35, puts it best at Details.com:
“It was like the Stockholm syndromeâ€”you become sympathetic toward your captor instead of realizing Oh my Godâ€”I’m a hostage!”
So both my friends had their aha moments, and are back with the parents, sorting their lives out. Hopefully they won’t be soured towards women for too long. We’re not all manipulative sea harpies that thrive on their tears and get stronger the weaker we make them feel. There are plenty of sassy ladies like me out there who are confident, fun, great in bed and only slightly crazy…
Photo of an extremely haggard looking Lindsay Lohan, the poster child for the crazy-hot chick, credited to ismellsmut.com.