Tits vs. Ass: The Great Debate

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Photo by Markus Mueller

I was hanging out at my place earlier this week, drinking some beers with three of my heterosexual male friends when the topic of motorboating came up. Two of the guys regrettably admitted they’d never enjoyed the sweet pleasure of “pushing one’s face in between two ample breasts, and rocking one’s head side to side very rapidly while making a vigorous, lip-vibrating ‘brrr’ sound”. While the third had tried it, he wasn’t so enthused about it.

“They’re just boobs,” he lamented. “They’ve got nothing on a sweet, juicy ass that you can grab hold of and hang on to for the ride.”

While it may seem somewhat crude to break male to female attraction down into such a simple binary, it is undeniable that people are attracted to particular aspects of a prospect’s physique. It seems that when given the choice, most men would ultimately declare themselves as either a tit-man or an ass-man. Since many men develop their sexual desires and quirks in their teenage years and tend to remain relatively rigid in regards to what turns them on, and if the Internet is a mirror of what men like, the majority reach for the mammaries.

According to Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam, authors of “A Billion Wicked Thoughts”, breasts, regardless of the size, are the most popular body part in sexual searches in every country from the United States to Saudi Arabia. Breasts account for about 4% of all sexual searches on the conglomerate search engine Dogpile, placing them fourth above MILFs (4.27%), gay (4.7%) and youth (13.54%). Butts came in at number 21 with 0.9% of all searches. The only other body parts to crack the top 100 were vaginas (2.82%), penises (2.41%), feet (0.24%) and testicles (0.05%), while other breast and butt-related topics were often searched like spanking (0.52%) and lactation (0.03%).

So what exactly makes a nice pair of breasts so special, and wherein lies the male fascination with them? Every guy I’ve ever posed the question to has answered in a similar manner – because we don’t have them.

The bias towards titties is unsurprising, given their prominence in the worlds of advertising and popular culture. Maybe their inherent appeal lies in the fact that they are the first food source for many of us, thus the positive reinforcement is made at a very young age.

I myself always thought my boobs were my best physical feature – an average-sized C cup, a decent handful, a really nice squeeze. I’ve never really understood the fascination with a nice ass. If I were a dude, I’d totally be a tit-guy. I mean, a nice ass is a nice ass, but in my mind it certainly doesn’t beat a nice rack.

Some men argue that you just can’t trust tits, given contemporary advancements in the field of water bras and silicone implants. When you see a girl in a pair of body-hugging jeans or prancing around in a lacy thong, there’s very little room for deception… at least until rear end-padded shapewear or butt-lifts really take off.

“Plus, chicks don’t know when you’re checking out their ass like they do when you’re checking out their rack,” chimed in my male friend.

But who’s to say you can’t have both? Or, why bother reducing someone to their most “attractive” quality in the first place??

So readers out there, are you a tit-guy or an ass-guy and why? Wherein lies the appeal of the boobies or the badonkadonk??

 

Photo credit – from a German advertising campaign, spotted at here.

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