First of all, to all my readers of the Jewish persuasion, Shanah Tova. Happy 5770.
Now, having said that, on with my rant. This year was not uneventful. It saw the beginnings of JC Sunshine and Forget The Box the way it now appears. I moved twice. The first time, in the middle of winter to a smaller apartment with two new roommates. I lost a lot of my things, including most of my artwork. I couldn’t afford the old place alone, so I moved with them.
Then I ran out of money and work was hard to come by. I was forced to move back in with my parents after living on my own for ten years. It’s humiliating to be a thirty-something boomerang kid, especially one who is constantly struggling and one who cannot easily live with his parents in a compatible and civil manner. The year ended with my sister’s wedding.
This year started (or rather last year ended) with me getting fired from the back-breaking, belittling job I had because I took a religious holiday off. While this is illegal, it has happened to me twice. I could have fought it, but all I could have gained would be a lot of acrimony and the old low-paying shitty jobs back, until they found some other excuse to fire me.
The year before was a horrible year. I was attacked in the metro for being an anglophone, the police called me later to say they had caught the guy, he admitted it, but they let him go and said I couldn’t prove who attacked me. A few months later, I had an attack of gout that was so severe I was hospitalized, but I already ranted about that one. The past two years were the arguably among the worst years of my life and I’ve had some pretty bad years. Sometimes I swear I must be cursed.
At least this year ended on a happy note.
I hope and pray that this year will be better than the last two. I hope for no more bad years, only many good ones. Good years to come for everyone, of course. Now to attempt to resolve some of my problems:
1. I admit it. I am a victim. I am easily irritated and lately it has been getting worse. I am easily annoyed and this has always been a problem for me. I have been attacked both verbally and physically many times in the past to the point where I should be used to it. Of course, I’m not used to it.
2. I need to learn to stay down, because getting back up again just means I’ll be knocked back down again, this time more brutally. Unfortunately this is the wrong attitude. In reality I need to learn to fight back more effectively.
3. I need to figure out how to seem less repulsive to other people, especially women. I need to get appropriate responses to appropriate advances instead of trying the same old tired methods repeatedly, expecting different results each time. This is madness and it’s a type of madness that I don’t need.
4. I need to improve my health, my wealth, my prosperity and my satisfaction. I have failed at all of this and “staying hungry” ironically, only works if you’re more than satisfied.
5. I procrastinate too much. I even put off putting things off. I seem to need to work on my time management, anger management and energy management skills. I need more time and more energy with less frustration and aggravation. I need to disconnect my “hot buttons” and replace them with “dummy plates.” If only I can learn to resolve my problems in a better way, I might have a better time of it all and I might even get to see that most elusive thing: success.
Oh, one last thing: I need to improve my popularity with this column. I need to learn that thinking outside the box isn’t enough, I need to forget the box entirely!